It’s been one and a half week of on the job learning in web design. When I applied to this school, I thought web design would be much easier. I have used WordPress so I thought it would be similar. Even doing a web site in it, you need to know something about coding. Now when I’ve studied it, I feel I can’t do it. The gap is still too wide. It’s not the designing itself, it’s the coding that causes problems. No matter what code I write, I don’t get it right. I’m worried I can’t make a website for my client. I’m using HTML5 and it’s too confusing. I also need the site to be responsive and that’s a challenge in itself. In HTML4 the codes are less complex. I thought 5 was easier but I was wrong. I don’t know the difference between class and id. For you who understand coding know what I mean. Section and article, navigation bar etc. Not forgetting the sizes. I rather try with different numbers but it’s time-consuming. I thought I didn’t have to use Math in coding but there are some. I’m never been good with numbers. I have a minor dyscalculia which is the reason numbers are confusing. I do remember numbers but when it comes to counting, I get confused. Even thinking of calculating something, makes my head spin. It’s all Math classes in school all over again. That’s a reason why I always studied something creative. I avoided Math like a plague and then this comes in web design. That’s not what I signed for. Creative work should not have counting anything.
When I see my class mates practise sites, I wonder how they can make it look so easy. I have an idea in my head and I plan how a site could look like. Then I go to Dreamweaver and no matter how many times I try, I don’t get the result I want. I go online to search for an answer. I watch videos and read articles. Then I try to do them but nothing goes the way it should. I start to doubt maybe something’s wrong with the program. I just don’t have patience enough to try to find a solution. I don’t find where the problems is and when I don’t, I get frustrated. There been a couple of times I thought about quitting school. I want to learn but it’s too challenging. It’s been 13 weeks since the school started and I still don’t know how to code.
This on the job learning haven’t gone very far. Those about 35h/week doesn’t get full so I’ve cheated a little but it’s not like I look at the time every hour. The only thing I’ve done so far when it comes to designing, is a logo, a banner and color scheme for the client. I’ve tried to code the front page but nothing goes right so I haven’t tried in a few days. I just don’t feel like it. I hate this struggle. Maybe this is too technical for me. I should only do plans and leave coding to real geeks. I’m not up for it. I’m close to giving up the whole thing. Why should I force myself for doing things that are too difficult? You need motivation to practise and I don’t have that. I already got some good comments from my client so it would be a shame to disappoint them. But when nothing goes the way I want, it just makes me down. I’ll never be able to get anything done for these 2,5 weeks that are left. Next week I’m meeting the teacher and I only have a logo and a banner to show because I doubt I still won’t be able to code one simple layout until then. I feel so dumb for not learning anything so far.
I have no problems designing things but getting the codes right is the problem. It would be easier if it was a drag-drop thing but coding is something the designer should do. It’s just not the coding thing you have to think about but I won’t go into to that other stuff. Knowing code and understanding it does make you different from other web designers. Apparently you can be one without knowing code but then you might just as well use template that other people have done. Even then you should know some code. Anyone these days can make a website for free but if you want to them to look professional, it’s better to have someone who knows more about web designing. There are so cool looking websites out there and the competition is hard so you need to stand out.
I bet my class mates will have a better chances to get jobs than I do. I wish I had a better understanding of coding than I have now. But I should not give up. I know I can do it. At least I should keep that attitude to have the strength to continue this rocky road. I’ve given up things too many times in my life. If I’ve gotten this far, I’m sure I can do it. I didn’t learn English over night so learning code should not be impossible. I just need to figure it out and other things will come.