Hi, there. Long time no see. I’ve been neglecting this blog for my other one, In my world. But also because I didn’t really know what to do with this blog after my web design education ended. I still don’t know but I’ll keep it updated from time to time. It won’t be that often though.
So I’m back to job search again and I admit, I hate it. Never like it either. I’m been turning orange for thinking what to do next. I’m very slow when comes to decisions. I’ve searched the internet about web design business etc. It feels like I’m old compared to all those young hopefuls who’s been doing design for years. At least I’ve had client work so I’m not a total novice. Thoughts keep creeping into my mind that I’m not fit for it after all. I haven’t designed anything since school ended. Soon I’ll forget about coding and such. Maybe I shouldn’t write this on this blog but I’m very lazy when it comes to practice. I want to do something in design. An ordinary job is not for me. Maybe I’m just unmotivated because I can’t find a job that could suit me.
I’m not a risk taker and if I do, it takes a long time to pick up the courage to start anything. Especially when it comes to making a living. Looking what’s out there on the open market, making it on my own looks more tempting. If I search for a job in other places, they have their requirements about who they’re looking for. Then you have to impress them in your cover letters and resumes. I’m not very good at describing myself in words. When I search for web designer jobs, web developing jobs appear. I’m not a developer, I’m a designer who can code but just a bit. I think it’s strange that the tag is ‘web designer’ but the job is still ‘web developer’ Then there are visual, UI and UX designer. There’s just so much out there so I don’t really know how to call myself anymore. I’m definitely not a front-end or back-end developer. It’s too advanced for me and that’s not what I want to do.
Creating your business is easier. It’s the finding clients and putting yourself out there that requires the hardest job. As an introvert, networking doesn’t come naturally. I don’t know if I have the nature of being self-employed. My father is but he got that never give up attitude. I give up too easily. Sometimes I’m excited about something but that doesn’t take long. It’s easier just to be and do what’s fun but that doesn’t pay the bills. I’m not the one who wants to be out of a job the rest of my life. I have thought about becoming a light entrepreneurship. That’s a good way to try how it is to be self-employed. What worries me the most is, am I good enough so people will choose me to their projects? I put my work on Behance and online in general but I don’t get many likes. So the whole promoting your work on social media is a lot of nonsense to me. It hasn’t helped me much. I don’t get much reaction from social media on my personal account so how will it work on the business side?
They teach things in school about the basics of web design (or any design school) but they don’t teach you how to market yourself. They don’t teach you how to find clients either. Thankfully the internet is full of different tips. What’s so great about web design is that you’re never ready. There’s always something you can learn. I still want to do web design but I also want to do more than just that. I told myself it was enough of education but I did apply for another education but in graphic design. I don’t know if I get in but it doesn’t matter if I don’t. I’ve already had a basic examination in graphic design but that was in 2011 so things have changed since then. The education is just part-time so if I get a job, I can still go there. I want to do both photography, web and graphic design. They all different and yet the same. I like versatility and if I only did one thing, I would get bored. I mostly want to do digital design. I learn better if someone says what to do, so a school is a better choice than being self-taught. For some, it might work but I’m not patient enough to study alone.
I don’t want to be rich, I want to have enough so I don’t need to be hungry. Whatever I chose to do, I’ll know I’ll do it as well as I can. Whatever I’ve studied has never been in vain. I’ll always find a positive side of everything. Some things happen for a reason and maybe the design is my reason. When I do find what I’m gonna do next, I’ll get rid of the orange colour of my thoughts.